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00:00:00:00 – 00:00:18:19
Hello. I’m Elliott Wald, addiction specialist. And welcome to
another episode of Coming Clean with me. Joining me today is
Savannah Simms. Savannah is a well-known personality within the
music industry as an events manager, an artist developer, and
gaining rapid recognition as a deejay, which seems to be her
passion.

00:00:18:21 – 00:00:39:21
But beyond the decks, alcohol addiction to the packet had her in a
chokehold, dragging it towards a precipice where careers are
shattered and lives are lost. Now 96 days into her sobriety,
Savannah is here to share her story. So tune in. Turn it up and
let’s drop the beat on addiction together. Welcome, Savannah. Yeah.
Great to meet you.

00:00:40:01 – 00:01:07:16
Thank you for coming. You have so good. Tell me about growing up,
what it was like for you, where you grew up, what that was like.
Yeah, I grew up in southeast London. it was it was pretty right, to
be honest. I went from Peckham to Lewisham. I did pretty well in
school, actually. Like, I got all my GCSE and stuff, but, you know,
my parents were separated from when they were, when I was a kid, so,
like, when I was a baby, actually, and all my siblings are, like,
half.

00:01:07:16 – 00:01:26:01
So I kind of was raised as an only child in a way. but yeah, some
sticky times growing up, but I’d say. Yeah. And what when did you
start drinking and smoking? When did that start for you? And
experimenting? Yeah, so I started drinking when I was 14. I feel
like there’s a common theme in the UK for that.

00:01:26:03 – 00:01:47:18
but my first cigaret was when I was 15, and I had the distinct
memory I can remember as clear as day, where I wanted to know how it
would feel to be addicted to cigaret, so I kind of like shove them
down my throat until I like them. And I’m still yet, at 28, addicted
to cigaretts. and then I’d say ecstasy.

00:01:47:20 – 00:02:11:06
like, you know, the pills came in around 16, 17. and yeah, I just
got back from them. And then how did that progress on. I like to of
using the word cocaine here because I’m going to be put on various
platforms. We use the word packet. How did that progressed to using
the packet. Yeah. So with Midi that got really bad taking it by
myself.

00:02:11:08 – 00:02:33:19
then I got sick of it, you know, same with, you know, the green
stuff. You know, I got sick of that. And then I found the packet and
I was like, oh, oh, my God, this is the one thing that I can have
that because I don’t like feeling drunk. So I can take the packet
and I can feel leveled out, and I just felt normal, I felt great, I
felt like, exhilarated.

00:02:33:19 – 00:02:54:17
But I also felt on a level. so started that around 19. until now.
Yeah. And how often we were using the packet at that point? from
when I was around 19, it was social. It was just, you know, I was
wondering raves. I was wondering if you were running the raves.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I was running raves like 3000 capacity.

00:02:54:17 – 00:03:17:14
You started. What kind of year was this? Oh, God, I couldn’t tell
you. My dyslexia. Okay, 28. Now, how old were you that, 90. 19. I
was like, okay, so nine years ago, right? Yeah. Nine years ago.
Okay. Yeah. So running events became really social. you know, going
out to pubs and stuff. we used in the packet when you run events.

00:03:17:20 – 00:03:35:02
Yeah. And we used in the packing. We went out to bars and clubs.
Yeah, yeah. And how often will you be doing that? all the time. Like
every time. Because I don’t like feeling drunk. I don’t like not
feeling in control of my own body. so when I discovered that, I was
like, oh, I love the taste of booze.

00:03:35:08 – 00:03:51:18
So when I take this, I won’t have to have, you know, the
consequences of getting drunk in Iraq and not being able to get
home. You know, I mean, that’s a very, very common thing because it
levels people off. So yeah, I was drunk. Yeah. Okay. So that was the
attraction to you. Yeah. And what quantity we were using.

00:03:51:20 – 00:04:13:08
then it was like a pocket. Get lost. Me what what size packet was in
was like a 40 okay. A point for half. Yeah okay, I got five. That
could last me about two days to the point where, you know, in my mid
20s, like, you know, a point five would last me half a night, you
know, and it just went downhill from there.

00:04:13:10 – 00:04:32:17
to what, what was the most you would be using on a, on a going out
basis? I’d say, you know, 2 to 3g in a night for sure. Definitely.
Okay. Yeah. Around 25, 25 to 28, it was just like it plummeted. Yeah, yeah. Did you only ever use when you drank alcohol? Correct.
Just to level yourself.

00:04:32:17 – 00:05:01:21
Yeah. Okay. And did that recreational usage change to solo usage or
did it remain recreational? No. Solo. Yeah. Tell me how that
transition happened. so I feel like at first it was social and then
it was self-medication, you know, it was so fun and it felt so
freeing. But then it became a necessity. It became a need.

00:05:01:23 – 00:05:23:03
I couldn’t have a good time without it, you know, when I was sad,
angry, frustrated, excited, happy, that would be my go to. That
would be my medicine. So, I don’t know if that answers the question.
Yeah. It does. I mean, it’s really interesting because it becomes
your your prop when you’re out. Yeah. You know, it’s your support.

00:05:23:03 – 00:05:46:21
It can make you the life and soul of the party. It becomes very
sociable. And then eventually, for the majority of users, it doesn’t
become sociable. It becomes using it on their own. Yeah, yeah, that
was me. That was, in the house by myself. And my housemate travels a
lot. So it was kind of like, oh, mum’s gone, you know.
00:05:46:21 – 00:06:07:02
So I’d utilize a lot of that time to be in my room, you know, living
in, like, I’d say, squalor. You know, you don’t really look after
yourself. just taking it by myself, speaking to people online like
they these, these random sites where I wanted the social aspect, but
in the safety of my own home without actually being and talking with
people face to face.

00:06:07:02 – 00:06:25:15
So I go in these like, online like sites and talk to people from all
across the world, whether it was camera, whether it was just by
message. And that was kind of my entertainment, whilst I was using
by myself. But yeah, it got really bad, you know, it was just too
consistent for my liking. Hence the reason why I’m clean now.

00:06:25:17 – 00:06:45:13
All right. And when you’re working in the music industry and I’ve,
I’ve spoken to a lot of people who work in the industry, music
industry in a lot of different levels. Look, you know, the different
jobs deejaying and, you know, artists performing and artists and all
different types of people. And, you know, listen, it’s rife in every
industry, but certainly in the music industry, certainly in the
entertainment district.

00:06:45:15 – 00:07:14:08
Have you found that? Yeah, rough. And it’s it’s almost like wearing
a badge of honor, you know, when you take drink or when you take
drugs, you know, when you’re on the podcast, it’s it’s everywhere.
Even when I was running events or doing artist liaison, where you’re
looking after all the artists and stuff and they dox you to pick up
for them, you know, so it’s kind of like you’re consistently around
it.

00:07:14:10 – 00:07:32:03
if the stress of the job as well, you know, when you just want that
freedom and you just want to get out of your head, you’re
consistently on everyone is on it, Elliott. Everybody is on it. And
it’s kind of like being a smoker, actually. When you start smoking
cigarets, you realize all the friends around you is smoking
cigarets.

00:07:32:03 – 00:07:50:05
You know, I don’t really have any friends who don’t smoke. So when
you start drinking in the industry and then on the pack in the
industry, suddenly everyone around you is on the packet. So it’s
kind of like you just can’t get away from it. It’s accepted. Yeah.
Way accepted. You know? And if you’re not on it, people are like,
why?

00:07:50:07 – 00:08:12:14
You know, I mean, it’s like, what do you mean, why poison my body
anymore? Yeah, definitely. I mean, I mean, I’m sure in the music
industry it’s the same as in the film industry. I mean, I have a
clinic near, Elstree Film Studios with the film EastEnders and other
programs, and they go on location, and I’ve got quite a few clients
of mine who have worked in Elstree Film Studios in one capacity or
another.

00:08:12:16 – 00:08:36:13
And I said, well, what do you do when you’re in location? And they
say, just get it when we’re on location? I went, oh, how do you do
that? And there were security guards always serve up. That’s so
crazy. You mention it I remember when I was working on a couple of
jobs and festivals, and there are two security guards where I give
them beer and they’d find like pocket for me, you know, of people
off the floor.

00:08:36:15 – 00:08:53:02
So they were like distributing me stuff in return for like beers
from the writer room. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, absolutely.
It’s honestly. And you can see it in people’s now I’m clean. I don’t
know if I’m skipping far ahead, but I can see it in people now. Whereas when I was on, I couldn’t see it before.

00:08:53:04 – 00:09:11:07
But now I’m like, oh, what is this? What is this what I look like?
It’s mad, it’s crazy. but yeah, yeah, I’m sticking to my guns. How
much money were you spending on booze in the park? Yeah. So I was
really fortunate at the age of 25, 26, full into a really, really
good job in the music industry.

00:09:11:07 – 00:09:30:20
Like, really good job. so my money flew, which means the money on
the pocket flew. So at one point, I was spending £800 a month just
on that alone. Okay, 200 pounds a week. Yeah. And then. But that’s
not including alcohol. So. Yeah, that’s just the package. Yeah. Do
you know what I mean. So it all adds up.

00:09:30:20 – 00:09:53:00
You’re like ooh. and then unfortunately the funding got cut from
that job. so I had to just work in other places in the industry, but
it wasn’t the same money, but I was still spending the same money,
but not on the same money, ultimately paying me in a bit of debt,
you know? I mean, and it’s so crazy.

00:09:53:00 – 00:10:14:11
It’s like you’d forget, you know, it’s it’s like you don’t look at
your bank account. I never looked at my bank account. I just hope
for the best. To the point where you’re just messaging every Tom,
Dick and Harry, Lucy, Jane and Sarah asking to borrow money, you
know, I mean, just to, like, fulfill that, you know, the addiction,
and alcohol was always a trigger for that.

00:10:14:11 – 00:10:32:06
So if I bought a couple of cans from the shop, I’m spending my last
£3 on a couple of cans knowing full well I haven’t got food in the
fridge. And then I’m asking, like, people to borrow money. Yeah. Can
I borrow enough for a ticket? Do you know? I mean, well, you
wouldn’t say that. No, of course not.

00:10:32:08 – 00:11:00:16
Let me pay my guests. Well, listen, I need money for funding for my
lecture. Can you lend me £50? You know, £50? That’s a funny amount,
isn’t it? Yeah, that’s a point five. Yeah. that’s what happens.
Literally. Yeah. It’s mentors. and what are some of the craziest
things you’ve done while under the influence? I’d say, remember this
one time I went to a club called Phonics in Brixton with a lady who
I used to to use with, and then somehow we ended up in Richmond.

00:11:00:22 – 00:11:25:17
I, we crashed the golf course, and it’s like a golfing and there’s
buggies everywhere. Somehow we managed to get on one of the buggies,
so that was pretty fun. you know, skateboarding on the roofs, you
know, in, like, traffic cone suits. I don’t know, it’s just some
random stuff you find on the street and end up wearing finding,
like, a Boris bike in the bush and writing that round in my
guardianship.

00:11:25:19 – 00:11:53:20
But, you know, I think, oh, God, please, I don’t know. I think I’ve
got really lucky with police. Thankfully. you know, like trying to
get into places where I shouldn’t be getting into for, like, a legal
event, and then the police officer’s helping us down and actually
showing us where to go. Do you know, I mean, it’s I’ve gotten so
lucky when it comes to police, you know, selling knocks on the
streets and just being knocks.

00:11:53:20 – 00:12:15:07
We just give them what? I have to be honest, I’ve been really
fortunate not to be arrested. which has been really fortunate. I
don’t know how I’ve gotten away with half the stuff I’ve gotten away
with, but, yeah, a really good reason to be clean today, so I won’t
have to find out. And what waste is your addiction affect your
mental and physical wellbeing and health?

00:12:15:12 – 00:12:37:21
Yeah. I’m just going to put it point blank. I wanted to die every
day. I was not mentally there, you know, I could a friend and my
older brother and just like, absolute despair, just distraught. Just
like I need to either go to rehab or I need to go somewhere to get
away from this because I can’t live like this.

00:12:37:22 – 00:13:04:09
You realize you’re in such a dark place, such a dark place, you
know, like. And it’d be in my head consistency. Like, you know, like
die, die, die, die, die. Especially in the coming down stages. Yeah.
because the recovery used to last 24 hours. Got to like 72 hours.
And I was still feeling down. Still in bed, you know, I mean, the
recovery, as you get older, it just gets so much worse, which means
your mental health gets worse.

00:13:04:11 – 00:13:26:19
My mental health was pretty bad as a kid, to be honest. Like, I did
try to take my life twice. and my teen heard things got, but then,
you know, the drugs got worse in my mid well, in my early 20s to mid
20s to I guess now and yeah, that’s sort of the reason why I stopped
because I was like, there’s so much to live for.

00:13:26:21 – 00:13:52:03
What do you think, what do you think they fulfilled for you at that
moment in time? What was their purpose? I think it just became
habit, you know, it was like sometimes I didn’t even want to. It
just became habit. It just became a routine. so at first it was
self, I think self-medication. and then being the life of the party,
you know, you see my Instagram, I like going crazy.

00:13:52:03 – 00:14:09:18
You do, I do. and I’m learning that I can do that without it, which
is great. But then it just got to. Oh, I feel like I actually need
this. Do you know what I mean? I don’t want it, but I feel like I
need it. so. Yeah, I’m really happy I nipped in the bud. The highs
get high and the lows get lower.

00:14:09:18 – 00:14:47:05
So low. Tyler. Well, I like mental health isn’t a thing in my
family. To be honest, I don’t really talk about it much, which is so
unfortunate. so you kind of learn it from, like, TikTok and, like,
friends and stuff, and, therapy never really worked for me. like,
CBT doesn’t really work for me. I’m just like, oh, no, this stuff
already not to sound like big headed or anything, but it’s like, I
mean, to be honest, you CBT, it depends what you’re using CBT for,
but what people don’t realize is coding to behavioral therapy is a
long, drawn out process that really you should look at 4050 sessions
of CBT.

00:14:47:05 – 00:15:05:03
People go into thinking I need it. I mean, I don’t practice CBT. I
think it’s a very slow psychological methodology for getting a
result right. So I don’t it doesn’t fit with what I want to achieve
for people, but certainly CBT for certain things it can be useful,
but it’s a lot of people don’t realize, I think, oh, I’m going to go
for four sessions now.

00:15:05:05 – 00:15:24:06
you’re looking at 3040 sessions. Realistically, that’s what you want
to know. So, you know, it was a crazy mentioned that because it’s
such a like long process. the packet, when you get to talk to people
about the stuff that you’re going through, everything comes out.
You’ve got like 40 sessions in one session, you know what I mean?

00:15:24:07 – 00:15:51:13
Yeah. so I feel like that really helped me get out what I had going
on emotionally to like the people in my life. So, you know, they
call me in, I’d be, like, sniffing. They wouldn’t know it, probably.
But I’m so like, I’m ADHD anyway, so my left. So I think I probably
missed it quite a lot, but it really helped me at first get all the crap that I needed to get out of me.

00:15:51:15 – 00:16:16:10
until it stopped and it backfired and slapped me in the face. So
yeah. And what were the consequence of your addictions on your
personal, with your working relationships? terrible. Absolutely
terrible. I run my own business, and I actually had a, a really nice
meeting with my business partner yesterday about it. Excuse me.

00:16:16:12 – 00:16:36:15
but. Yeah. Run my own business when you’re working for yourself.
When you’re working freelance. I mean, you have to be on your game.
I was not on my game. I was using every excuse under the sun not to
go in. like, if I had a cat or a dog, I’d probably say I had a cat
or a dog, you know?

00:16:36:15 – 00:16:53:21
I mean, and they’d be pregnant or, you know, my neighbor got run
over or something ridiculous, something stupid, just to get me out
of it, knowing full well, you know, I’m messaging, saying I’m
feeling ill and I’m still, like, sniffing. Do you know what I mean?
I’m still drinking. I’m still out, you know, with the lads or the
girls.

00:16:53:23 – 00:17:14:16
so I lost a lot of job opportunities from not showing up. you know
it, pet a rocky situation for me and my business partner who’s, you
know, he was actually my mentor for when I was 14, so he’s like
family. So I’m really fortunate to have him in my life because he
was so supportive. He’s like a dad to me.

00:17:14:18 – 00:17:34:04
so that’s nipped in the bud when I was working after the funding got
cut from that business. Like I talk about talked about earlier, I
then had to go to normal like jobs. So I did some making, like, you
know, a couple of businesses that are very high in the music
industry and working in this corporate lifestyle.

00:17:34:06 – 00:17:49:15
It did not work for me at all because I didn’t have that freedom.
But did your addiction, did that affect your addiction to your
addiction? Have an effect on it? Yeah, because I was I had so much
freedom working for myself. And then you’re working a normal 9 to 5,
and you’re still doing what you’re doing in that 9 to 5.

00:17:49:15 – 00:18:16:07
Like you had the freedom of when you’re working freelance. So ultimately, I lost both of those jobs because I couldn’t keep up
with it. I just wasn’t showing up or I’d go in like coming down low,
hung over. Do you know? I mean, like, I remember we went on a trip
to Edinburgh this one time, and I met this couple in a bar because I
refused to go back to the apartment, and we ended up getting on till
7 a.m. and then I had this random people, this random bit.

00:18:16:09 – 00:18:35:18
Oh, that’s another thing. The random House people that I’ve had in
my house, it’s crazy, these strangers. And there was this one time
where I’m so happy it didn’t happen. But, you know, I’m really happy
to use my initiative. And I said my housemate was in because it got
to the point where I could have been sexually assaulted, like really
badly.

00:18:35:18 – 00:18:55:21
This guy had a screw loose and absolute screw loose. So I’m really
happy that I said my housemate was in. But the amount of random
people from using I’m using he’d been out using with this. Yeah, and
he wanted to come back to your house and carry on using, you know,
so the amount of random people that I had in the house, oh, my house
is using.

00:18:56:02 – 00:19:15:02
So dangerous. It’s like all of, you know, I don’t know what the word
is. You might have to help me, but, you know, my safety just went
out the window. You know, you’re putting yourself in vulnerability.
You’re vulnerable 100%. You had. No, I had no vigilance. It was just
the pocket, the drain. Get out here to have a good time.

00:19:15:04 – 00:19:35:21
You know, there were times they were, Well, not there are tight.
Well, there are times. Not anymore, I guess. But I took pictures of
people’s IDs before they entered my house. You took people’s IDs for
the inside. Your house? Yeah, I took pictures of it because I’m
like, I don’t know, you. Anything could happen. Was that on your
using paranoia?

00:19:35:21 – 00:19:59:16
Oh, was. I think it was using paranoia because kind of like, you
know, before you enter a club situation because I’m like, if
something goes wrong in this house and these like, or if I’m out in
the taxi after, like a rave and I’m going into your yard, I’m
sending a picture of your ID to me, because if anything happens to
me, then you know earlier.

00:19:59:18 – 00:20:13:03
Then you’ve got your details, mate. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I know that. Like when you go in a club and they give you a copy of
your driving license before you come in this club, for example, you
have to give you your idea in case any repercussions. But I didn’t
know that your front door of your house, you know, it was doormen.

00:20:13:05 – 00:20:38:03
Yeah, well, I didn’t know. so what was your wakeup call? What was it
that made you go, fuck, I need to quit all this, finances and not
being able to pay things on time consistently. Men own house. you
know, even, like the sexual aspect of it. And just the people that
were deciding to sleep with you were making choices that you
wouldn’t have made if you weren’t using so much.

00:20:38:05 – 00:20:51:15
And definitely. And tell me about that, because there’s a lot of
women that are going to listen to that. Well, I hope there are women
that can listen to this podcast and these interviews for you. To you
know, inspire them and for them to listen to your journey and for
them to take some things and go, oh yeah, I do that.

00:20:51:15 – 00:21:17:11
Oh, no, I don’t do that. Oh yeah. Oh, so so tell me about those
choices, because it’s really interesting for them to hear it. Yeah.
Well I’m going to put it point blank. I actually spoke about this in
one of my meetings. I can’t remember apart from my GCSE is a time
where I’ve had a relationship sober, you know, so, you know, I’m
very early stages, so I’m still figuring that out, but I’m not going
to be dating for a year.

00:21:17:11 – 00:21:44:19
But the guys who I was dating were just just as bad as I was, if I’m
honest. and I was my self love for myself was so low and I was
degrading myself. And I really mixed, you know, sex for love, you
know? I mean, and when the drugs come in, it’s like, you forget who
you are, you forget your sense of self.

00:21:44:23 – 00:22:07:00
So you are connecting with pretty much anyone and everyone. And then
further down the line, it hurts you just as the drugs did. You know
what I mean? So I was hiding myself in so many ways, and that was
including the relationships I was getting myself into. because I
just wasn’t vigilant, or I wasn’t reading the red flags that were
very vigilant.

00:22:07:00 – 00:22:28:07
And people were like, Savannah, hello, wake up. but yeah, my my head
was just in clouds. In the clouds, to be honest. So did you tell
anyone that you wanted to quit and how did they react? Yeah, I all loads. I told loads of people that I wanted to quit, like loads of
people knew I was desperate to quit.

00:22:28:09 – 00:23:00:08
what was their reaction? and also, are you using themselves? So we’d
have these conversations at like 6 a.m. in the kitchens, you know
what I mean? I mean, love me cry about it, and then we’d end up
doing it a couple of days later. The kitchen table discussion. The
kitchen table discussion. Yeah. and also the other thing is the the
other person who uses, like, if they’re a friend of yours that they
use as much as they as much as they do more as much as they, want
you to stop, they also don’t want to be left behind.

00:23:00:10 – 00:23:38:23
Do you find that? yeah. Yeah, I actually I’ll speak from my
perspective quickly. I felt really trapped using. I was going to the
same pubs, the same bars, the same places over and over again.
People were traveling, my friends were traveling or going places or
doing things, you know, settling down in various places. And I was
just stuck in Camden, you know, I was becoming quite resentful of
it, rather than feeling happy for them, which I usually, I think a
lot of people have come to me and they’re like, of, I really want to
get clean.

00:23:39:00 – 00:23:57:18
And the amount of people in this, in these 96 days I spoken to are
like, yeah, I really want to get clean. I’m trying, like, hey, when
it’s your time and when you feel ready, you feel ready. I can’t
force you into this, you know? But if you ever want to talk about
it, I mean, I had to speak about it, and I can help guide you
through it.

00:23:57:18 – 00:24:28:09
And I’ll point each of the right places that you need to go to. I’m
it’s going to sound maybe a bit selfish of me, but I just really
need to focus on my sobriety. I can’t focus on anything else. I
can’t really focus on anyone else because I’m so early into it, and
there’s so many triggers around me because I’m still in the music
industry, still in the events I’m still working with all as and
becoming an artist myself, and I’m taking it seriously and it’s f
ING everywhere, and I just have to keep my head on my shoulders.

00:24:28:11 – 00:24:48:13
And I had to even send a voice note to a friend. two days ago, he
really wanted to hang out sober, and, I felt quite bad about it, but
I was like, look, I bumped into a boyfriend in the beginning of my
sobriety, and he was adamant that he was never going to stop. And he
was also my dealer.

00:24:48:15 – 00:25:09:01
So I’m like, I love you go. But even the thought of being around you
is triggering for me. So I’ve had to leave people behind, and I’ve
actually unfollowed quite a few people who have just connected with
with alcohol and getting on it, because I don’t want to see pictures
of pubs and stuff crawling up, you know? I mean, like, I’m done with
that.

00:25:09:05 – 00:25:31:01
There’s a certain threshold of Camden that I’ve never passed, apart
from going to squash on the bus, because if I pass your thing,
squash? Yeah, I’m trying to play squash. Yeah. It’s fun. It’s good
for you. I’m trying to get into, like, finding different activities.
Absolutely. Sorry. Carry on. Just let’s go. But, yeah, there’s a
certain part of Camden I cannot pause.

00:25:31:03 – 00:26:05:22
I feel like if I pass that threshold, it’s game over. Because that
was like, where I was trapped for so long. You know, I feel like I’m
in this weird video game where it’s like, you know, I’ll lose lives
if I pass this threshold of Camden. So. Yeah. I don’t want to leave
anyone behind, but if they’re not gone, you know, even if they can’t
use successfully or if they can’t be respectful of the fact that I’m
sober and they can’t drink or whatever around me, then I’m so sorry
by, like, I really can’t be around that.

00:26:05:24 – 00:26:19:19
and so far, I’m connecting with more beautiful people in my life who
have always been in my life. And now I’m just figuring out that
they’re sober, you know? Is, is that because you were associated
with the people that were using before, and now all of a sudden, you
know, social media people, they’re like, whoa, I forgot about you.

00:26:19:20 – 00:26:45:22
Yeah, literally. It’s mental. It’s crazy. It’s like there’s so many
people out of the woodwork on my algorithm or I’m speaking to who
have been sober for ten months, six months, three months. Yeah, two
years. I’m like, where have you been? Oh, okay. I was using that’s
probably what I have. Absolutely. So that’s really it’s really cool.
Like I did a meeting and, you know, bumped into a friend who I used
to use, I work with.

00:26:45:22 – 00:27:05:00
She’s been sober for a year. And then I picked up one of my chips
and bumped into a friend. And before eyes lit up, we were like, oh,
wow, we’re both doing this. So yeah, my world is changing and it’s
really, I’m loving it. It’s it’s good. I mean, I think, I mean, I’ve
been I’ve never been a musician.

00:27:05:00 – 00:27:34:02
I’m not involved in the music industry in that way. So when I say
this, it sounds a bit weird, but yeah, from my experience in the
music industry by I know a lot of people in the music industry,
clients, people that I associate with it was very rife in the music
industry. But the thing that I’m hearing is a lot more sober
parties, a lot more deejays that are going sober, you know, you
know, DJ Pat Wilson, Jumpin Jack Frost, Brandon Block, these are
just people I’ve interviewed who who are there to tell their story
just as you are.

00:27:34:04 – 00:27:56:01
And I think there is a DJ, Ross Mac, there are places within the
music industry now that are opening up to being sober, to being
clean, to not using. Yeah, more and more. Yeah. There are, there are
I’m still yet to I, there’s one called Rise and Shine. I’ve not
connected with it, but, a DJ who I really adore.

00:27:56:01 – 00:28:23:02
She’s been sober for a very long time, and she helps with that. but
I actually came back from hospitality on the beach, which is a seven
day drum and bass festival, was like 1000 Croatia Disney. Wicked.
And as you can imagine, it’s 5000 drum and bass uses, you know,
using. Yeah, 5000 people using. Yeah. So oh you know, in my 80, 70
to 80 days of sobriety, it was risky.

00:28:23:02 – 00:28:38:11
But what made you decide to go that was that work? Yeah. It was.
Wow. So you got you got called for a job to go there. Yeah. And you
were like money talks. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I’m going to go and I’m
going to be in control and I’ll put myself in the fire a little bit.
But, I need the money.

00:28:38:11 – 00:29:02:05
Yeah, exactly. Needed the money. Love from my bass. And I got an
opportunity to, like, deejay three times. and I didn’t want to turn
it down. Everyone, apart from one person out of 5000 people, was so
respectful. I told every single person, no matter who it was. I’m
sober. people were like, offering me drinks and like, oh, oh, you
don’t drink anymore.

00:29:02:05 – 00:29:20:20
Sorry. Like, how cool is that? People are so respectful and pretty
much everyone who I bumped into was like, oh, do you remember when
you gave me a bit of pocket? Oh, do you remember when you stopped me
a bit of rum? Most of the stories that people, reminisce of me had
to do with using or drinking in some sort of way.

00:29:20:21 – 00:29:47:17
Yeah, and I was smiling, but I was actually quite embarrassed by it
because I’m like, can you not really remember me for anything else?
That’s interesting. Do you know what I mean? And it was just like,
oh, it’s a bit sad. So it was really cool to just go the sober,
known as an artist, known as someone who works behind the scenes and
still my crazy, beautiful self and the fact that everyone was really
respectful apart from one guy.

00:29:47:21 – 00:30:15:23
but yeah, he apologized. I, have you faced any challenges in your
in your journey of sobriety the first few months? Yeah, it was
really tough. Like 11 days was the longest I’d ever gone sober ever.
And I know that because I had that sober up thing. so when I got to
11 days, like I was like I pulled my eyes out because I was like, I
passed it, you know, so that was really nice.

00:30:16:00 – 00:30:35:02
but yeah, there were some difficult times where I was really cheeky
and I thought I could have a nonalcoholic beer at home. And that was
triggering, was it? And I really wanted to pick up. And I got myself
into a meeting and, I, I called my eyes out because I was like, oh,
the cheek of me.

00:30:35:08 – 00:30:55:12
You know, I really thought I could do it. Even a zero alcohol drink.
Yeah. Treat for you triggered you. Yeah. It was way too early for me
to dabble and get too cocky. Way too early. But you’ve learned that
now. Yeah, I’ve learned that now. I know I’m really enjoying it. I’m
having a great time. I’m having a ball, I feel great, my body’s
great.

00:30:55:12 – 00:31:20:06
I’ve lost weight in a good way, I feel energized, I can still be
like my, you know, my ADHD creative self. I’ve had more
opportunities since and within three months, and I’ve had in a year,
you know, work wise, people want to connect with me, and I feel like
I’m being invited to places out more. You know, there’s changes in
your life, habits, proper change.

00:31:20:08 – 00:31:42:06
And it’s like, wow, why didn’t I do the sooner, you know, I’m like,
this is really, really cool. I’m just learning how to pace myself
because I feel like I’m making up for a lot of lost time. So I don’t
want to get to a point of burnout. So I’m really trying to, like,
hold it down. But I’m also really excited that I want to do it all
at once because I know there’s so much to experience.

00:31:42:06 – 00:32:00:02
You know? but yeah, it’s great. I’m loving it. That’s great.
Savannah, I read some Savannah’s tips and tricks. come on, you know.
Okay, come on, let’s have your tips. Because I read them and I
thought, yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. I mean, these are
all things that I would tell a patient anyway, when I see me in
clinic.

00:32:00:07 – 00:32:26:08
Yeah. let’s hear Savannah’s tips and tricks. so tip number one,
connection is protection. if you’re ever feeling like you want to
use pick up the phone, call somebody who can resonate to that. why
do you think that is? Because they’ll tell you all the things that
you definitely do not want to hear, but you need to hear.

00:32:26:11 – 00:32:49:24
Yep. That’s one. It also comes with someone who gets it and
understand those two. and you know, it does give me one more. Oh
come on, it takes you out of the brain phone that does three. But
I’ll give you a better, was it, because when you talk to those
people.

00:32:50:01 – 00:33:15:19
They know what you’ve been through. They know what they’ve been
through. They’ve been through it to you. and the most powerful thing
about becoming sober is finding yourself, the most powerful thing
about being clean is finding yourself. Because that person will have
been lost for years. Because you don’t get somebody who suddenly
becomes addicted in three months, and they only have use for three
months and quit.

00:33:15:19 – 00:33:31:23
These people use and we end up using. We start off small and it ends
up and ends up and we lose ourselves. We lose our identity. We lose
who we are. Yeah. So carry on with your tips and tricks. Come on. I
can’t remember the other one. I got them written down. So you’re
okay. Hold on a second.

00:33:32:01 – 00:33:50:17

Intel on this. So that. Oh, connection is protection, right? So hang
on me. The other thing I was going to say about connection is when
you use it’s disconnection. Right. It’s the opposite. Think about
this. When we start using you’re out there socializing being your
mates you’re racking it up. It’s all a good laugh. Time goes on.

00:33:50:17 – 00:34:13:09
Time moves on. Until eventually like you said, you end up on your
own at home. Yeah. In the dark. Yeah. Doing lines. You become
disconnected, you become antisocial. So one of the greatest things
is to connect again. Connection is protection. So you’re you’re
you’re you’ve broken all that down. You’re rebuilding it. Yeah.
Okay. I’ll go next one. Delete the numbers.

00:34:13:09 – 00:34:35:07
Delete the numbers. Yes. Delete the numbers. you should get one.
Right. That’s good to do that. Yeah. You know, just to quickly come
with the. I’m still yet to speak to actually, someone knowing full
well I was going through sobriety, but I feel like I’ve relapsed so
much, before coming into the program that I’m in now.

00:34:35:09 – 00:34:57:02
they weren’t taking it seriously because I wasn’t taking it
seriously in the past, and they asked me for a number, and I was so
upset, and I was like, I’m getting a broken number for just a period
of time. This is unacceptable. And I was more upset at myself
because I had about 30 numbers from all across the world, like I had
numbers from France, Croatia, oh my God, I can’t remember the other
countries.

00:34:57:02 – 00:35:23:11
Portugal, like I had numbers from every corner and crevice and I was
more upset at myself because why am I holding all need reservations
in my phone? So yeah, I’ve deleted all the numbers. They’re not
needed. You know, when I stopped using, I probably had local to me
five people I could have called. Yeah, five. Reliable. More than
that, but five reliable.

00:35:23:13 – 00:35:39:11
It took over a year. I couldn’t tell how long over a year, even if I
deleted them to stop getting texts from people. Yeah. The menus. You
know how many BS. And cuz I must have got to. Oh, this was cute.
This is B, this is X, this is why this is it. This is my special
menu. Takes so long.

00:35:39:11 – 00:36:05:06
Crazy. And it’s like you block them and they just come out. And I
literally has to message them. And I’m like mate, blocked my number
ASAP. You know, because I’m like, I’m not running for this. You know
what I mean? So yeah. you said finding new hobbies and sports. Yeah.
I’m trying like, I’m picking like a park or park soon or what?

00:36:05:06 – 00:36:23:09
Like, you know, I think that’s what, like good ones where you can
do, like, backflips and front flips in the phone and run around. I want a trampoline. Yeah. Oh, I know it is one of those one that’s
hard for me. I know what it’s called. Cooking and, squash. doing
that on Sunday with my housemate, my mate Shaq really got me into
that.

00:36:23:09 – 00:36:43:23
That’s really fun. I can swim now. You couldn’t swim before? No.
This time last year in Croatia, I was drowning. I was like, I
couldn’t float and I go into the sea. My mate Tina watch me from the
beach. I just took a breath and I started floating. I was like, oh,
am I doing this? I started swimming like within like seven days.

00:36:43:23 – 00:37:03:08
I went for morning swim. After the rave, I got home around 3 a.m.,
woke up or 2 a.m., woke up at like 9:00. and I went for a morning
swim before work in Croatia every day. By the end of it I had my ten
is like mask on and I was diving. I was like watching the fishes.

00:37:03:08 – 00:37:22:05
I was doing roly poly, I was doing a handstand, I was, I was it’s
cool. So it’s it’s crazy. getting into these activities now that I’m
sober, I’m just thinking to myself, just believe in yourself. You
can do it. And just getting out and doing it and having the energy
to do it. Savannah, I’ve got a great one that you said.

00:37:22:05 – 00:37:53:09
Oh yeah, I like this one. This one’s a really good a I like this one
a lot. You said was fun out of, something like about social media.
Was it social media cleansing? Yeah. Come on, tell me. my algorithm
used to be full of jokes about using, you know, uses drinking, going
out, but now it’s just manifestations, positivity and sobriety.

00:37:53:11 – 00:38:19:13
yeah. You get the odd using here and there, but it’s like you’re
laughing at the pain. Do you know what I mean? Rather than, like,
fulfilling the pain. so excuse me. no holds barred here. yeah, I’ve
I’ve unfollowed the people who I’ve just connected to by drinking
and using. There’s no need for them to be on my social media
anymore.

00:38:19:15 – 00:38:36:19
I’ve unfollowed a lot of people who are glorifying, using,
glorifying it, wearing it as a badge of honor. no. Thank you. In the
bin. Yeah. you know, you. Sorry. I’m just gonna interrupt you
because. Because when you said that. Because I always asked my
guests. Tell me some of the craziest things that you’ve ever done.

00:38:37:00 – 00:38:51:16
The reason I ask that is not to glorify it, but so that other people
go, this is sort of thing I do. I’ve done that, I’ve done that. When
do I’ve done that? So we we empathize and we, we can identify that.
We also were like that. That’s why I ask those questions. But you’re
quite right, people to glorify you just cut them off for social
media.

00:38:51:19 – 00:39:14:11
Yeah, 100%. You know, and the amount of dangerous situations I put
myself in and interactions through using like it as part so I can
really laugh about it. But there’s parts where it’s like that. I was
not funny, you know? And, you know, this stuff nearly put me in the
grave. This stuff, you know, disconnected me from a lot of people
who, who I cherish in my life.

00:39:14:13 – 00:39:41:14
This stuff stopped me from put me in death. You know what I mean?
Not so much, something that I can really get out of, which I’m
working on now, so I’m really happy about that. no, I’ve, I’m not. I
don’t want to be affiliated with it anymore, so. No. So when I wake
up and I see great things on my, you know, my social media, I know
my algorithm and the people that I really want to connect with, I’m
like, this is how life should be.

00:39:41:16 – 00:40:00:01
You know what I mean? So, yeah, it’s going to surround yourself with
people that are like people. Yeah. Well, you like. Yeah, 100% people
who are inspired to be absolutely inspired to be, you know, like, I
had a really good conversation with my mate the other day who got me
a nice little job, and she showed me a bank account.

00:40:00:02 – 00:40:20:21
I was like, that’s what I’m aiming for. You know, I thought it’s
like, thank you. Oh, you know, I have no resentment anymore. I’m
just like, no, this is where I want to be. You know? I’m not down
for that jealousy crap, you know? I mean, I’m like, I see it, I’m
around it, I can have it if I really want it, and I work for it, you
know?

00:40:20:21 – 00:40:40:03
I mean, if you’ve got what I want, I’m happy for you. I’m coming.
I’m two steps behind you, mate. Absolutely. You know what I mean?
Savannah, just before we finish, is anyone you’d like to thank or
say thank you to all or anything you like to mention before we
close? Yeah, I really love to thank the person who is my sponsor,
who’s been sticking by my side.

00:40:40:03 – 00:41:01:08
And, one of the programs, I mean, it saved my life, and all the
friends, you know, and the family that stood by me for so long and
the people on my social media championing me through this. And, you
know, I just love it. I love how people are connecting and inspired
by it, and I’m inspired by them and also you.

00:41:01:08 – 00:41:06:21
Thank you so much, Savannah Sims, thank you for coming. Thank you
Cheers, thanks.